I hope you all have been well. As you all know Summer May not be my favorite time of year for so many reasons ( including this current heat wave lol) BUT I admire how it always brings out emotions in me.
I grew up not really expressing myself, and it wasn’t until I grew older that I realized how important that is, not just as a parent but as a person. As a parent I want to show my son positive ways to express himself, and as a person I want to positively express myself. As a parent I want to express my gratitude for life, my son’s life , and all that matters to me. As a person I want to express perspective, and love to all those like me and unlike me. So here is a little into my sentiment.
June. June always had good sentiment as it always was the end of trudge and the beginning of freedom. Younger me usually ended school in June, and the older me who worked in an educational setting, appreciated the quiet June brought to my office setting. June wasn’t always so hot, June was pretty much the beginning of beach trips, and ice cream dates with my bff, husband, or myself, and it was just a time to feel joy.
July. July has many sentiments. It was the month I got married in, the month My son was born in, and the same month that I was on my death bed. During that same time it was the same time my life began. I recovered from my past fears. I became whole because of my son. I felt elated in his joy as he is my real Santa.
August. The goods of the month. My best friend got married in August. I became engaged in August. It was August 20, and my now husband proposed on the beach, while a bunch of frat boys were screaming congrats from their huge ocean front beach house. Now that was awesome ..YET August is STILL usually the hardest for me. It was the last time I spoke to my grandmother alive… I called her after my engagement while I was sitting on a beach bench. I always wished I had more to say as I had no idea it be my last time hearing the sound of her voice. August was also another month I laid on my death bed. It was the same month I found out about my first pregnancy, and the same time I lost my daughter. The same week I lost her, I lost a good friend of mine, who left behind his wonderful wife and twins who now are three years old.
So as a person and parent, Summer brings back those memories that are printed on my heart like tattoos, and others that are filled with joy.. It may not be Summer that brings out sentiment for you, as no two people are like, but whenever you feel the need to talk, paint, sing, dance, walk,write, or just take time to remember, know that it’s ok to feel. Even the things that make no sense, are meant to be, so it is our job to give ourselves the freedom to move forward even when we take a look back.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing with me, and allowing me to share with you.
I wish for you all to not need validation from your past, but only to seek truth in it, to help you become an even better you.