The choice to have kids

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a wonderful weekend! As my blog is coming from a Mum’s point of view, I was asked to talk about the ins and out of being a Mum. So that is what I intend to do this week to send off February in a good note!

Now if you don’t want kids, don’t have kids, I think these posts can still be beneficial to everyone. Why? Because at some point you’ve been around someone pregnant, maybe are thinking about kids for the future, or if no to those, you were born from a Mum, and born to parents, and you can learn from them and their choices, to help others. When I was just 22 years old before I had my own family, I was teaching families about raising kids, that’s a perfect example of what I’m saying. So everyone wins here. It’s all about empowerment and respect which we want and can give. So understanding how this all begins will help us all… I wish I had someone telling me this back then. So welcome to my personal experiences with becoming a Mum.

Today in particular I want to talk about the choice. No one is ready to become a parent, but it’s so much better when the choice comes from your heart, after much sincere thought. For me I had two times to make decisions. The first, was a few months after I got married. My husband and I always wanted children. It took us 9 months to get pregnant the first time. Our jobs and their commutes were stressful, our families and friends were stressful at that time, and just being married and constantly being asked ” why don’t you have kids yet,” was stressful. Fast forward to after our daughter went to heaven. I had to make a second choice. Do I want children and do I want to risk loosing another child? Well, I made the choice, because I know that after I lost my daughter, I wanted children still and I know my husband did to. It wasn’t a selfish choice, yet it was the hardest thing to decide. No matter the circumstance it’s hard to make this decision as children change you, and you continue to realize this from conception until forever….

You don’t know how long you have them or , or how long they have you, and as a person, you have to accept that life is no longer about you or what you need or want. Period. Trust me, even the most prepared parents struggle with that. Before children you could do as you please. With children, especially for women that begins when pregnancy does. After three months of trying, ( we waited awhile after my daughter) I was pregnant with my son.

Now for me, pregnancy was choice. If you are a woman who wants a baby, there are choices for you. If you can bare children, will you choose to? If you can’t will you choose to adopt or have a surrogate. Will you choose to become pregnant by a donor if you don’t have a significant other ? Just to name a few…. These same questions arise for men. No one knows what choices or decisions are needed to be made until the choice to have kids is made first. This is truth.

Now, you’ve made the choice to have kids, and have decided which route to go… Now what? Well it’s time to decide on names, room decor, who will watch them if you are working, is where you live a good environment for them, how will you provide for them, and how will you raise them.. if you’re doing that alone, all the decisions are up to you; if you’re not, then you’ll have to have many talks before, during, and after pregnancy (or other options you chose) for the child’s ENTIRE life with your SO, for pretty much forever, about what’s best for them..

How to make the choice :

– Do I want children?

-Does my SO want children or will I do this alone ?

-Should I take pre birth classes for raising children?

-Can I become Children CPR certified and how?

– How’s my household income?

– Am I ready to give up my life ? Completely for someone else’s

What great parents give up:

  • Sleep
  • Food
  • Quiet
  • Clothes
  • Mess less life
  • Privacy
  • Immunity to colds
  • Spending time doing what you want
  • Spending time doing anything uninterrupted
  • Being on time
  • Friend time
  • Date night
  • Sleep
  • Sleep
  • Sleep
  • Did I mention sleep
  • So much more

What great parents get in return :

  • Unconditional love
  • Laughter
  • A chance to make a difference in the world
  • A chance to raise a wonderful human
  • Unconditional love
  • Patience
  • Creativity
  • Courage
  • A chance to do all those kid things you’d be creepy doing without a child. Like going to Chuck E. Cheese, or seeing a Disney movie at the matinee. Getting your face painted
  • A friend for life
  • A miracle
  • A chance to be a better human every second

*While making the choice to become a parent can be trying, it’s the best thing you’ll ever do. PERSONALLY, it has been the hardest most fulfilling way of life I’ve ever chosen, and though I wish I had more sleep, and a Dunkin donuts iced coffee house in my basement, I’d never trade sleep for the love I have, for the miracle I was given, and for the person I am molding to be..

I wish for you all to appreciate what children bring to the world; love and hope. Yours or not yours.

Please join me tomorrow when we begin our talks about pregnancy. Everyone gets affected when the bump comes into town!

Much love,

Belle ❤️

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